Category → learn the lingo
I need to Get This off my Chest ……..
This post is fat too long which is why I never published it. Please try and read it …….. pretty please ….. all 6 of you who still visit this site.
You’re first day in medical school: 3 subjects for 1 year, biology, physics and chemistry, mostly rodents, reptiles and Schiff bases ……. stuff I can’t remember anymore ……. nor will I ever need ………
Your second and third year in medical school: You’re finally seeing a human body for the first time, you see the parts (anatomy), the mechanisms (physiology) and the witchcraft (biochemistry).
You’re fourth and fifth year: you go through diseases through pathology and microbiology but barely see 20 patients a year …… half the time you don’t know what they are doing or what you’re doing to them just taking a history (interview) and physical exam ………. forget the diagnosis …. that’s miles off.
The final year: you read and read and read and read …… then realise that you’ve barely seen enough to know how to recognise what you’re reading if a patient even had it.
Graduation day: You’re happy! YOU ARE DONE! but what now? where do you go from here? you’ve passed, you know your stuff ………. but don’t know what to do next …….The reasons why you went to medical school in your first year are forgotten and you’re not all that inspired, you want to treat people …. but that’s it …… you don’t even know how to prescribe yet …….
That’s a summary of my medical “education” and as most of you can tell, I’m not exactly satisfied by it. Now, I’m not an educator, I’m no teacher. They need to inspire, to have that ability to make you trust them enough to guide you; they have to have that gift that lets them build a mental structure in which information can be stored and eventually made useful. Sadly, few of mine did and looking around at the new batch of interns from both Kuwait and abroad few of them seem inspired. Don’t get me wrong, they work hard, right to the bone, they have skills but not the useful ones.
How many of the young doctors you see/meet actually make you feel comfortable, know how to ask the right question at the right time, know how to tell someone they have cancer or that a persons father died minutes ago?
How many of the doctors reading this (if any …… ) actually feel a sense of awe at what they do? how many of us actually enjoy reading about how IV fluids (drip …. or drib) were originally made? Or how the inhalers (Ventolin) we use evoloved? or why we tend to wear green or blue or green scrubs rather then white or grey ones? Or who the first open heart surgeon was and what he did to get there? How many of us were taught the ethics behind palliative care? Contraception? and experimental treatments? or how clinical trails evolved and the difference between that and standard treatments?
Medical history isn’t the reason why you go into medical school, it isn’t how you save lives, but in that third year when all you know is the Krebs cycle (the gearbox of your metabolism) and the anatomy of the Brachial plexus (nerves in your arms) you need to feel inspired by people who’ve done it before you. You need to find a reason to read, to debate, to analyse and to understand and during that final year, you need to learn why trying out new treatments for MS and charging people for it is unethical and why the current mudeer is a douche and why patients blame you for cancer rather than try to understand it…….
You don’t learn these things in textbooks on surgery, rheumatology or internal medicine, and contrary to popular belief you won’t learn them by parading the hallways in your new white coat and seeing 50 patients in the emergency room ….. you learn them by reading the ethics, the sociology and other humanities that underpin our profession.
Kuwait University and others like it have the ability to reshape education and inspire us. The reason why they can is because unlike other institutions it was built from the ground up to educate us, other institutions need to attract research grants to survive,we don’t.
We also have experienced faculty, there are people currently teaching who were there when stomach stapling came to Kuwait and can tell us how they tackled it, who they dealt with mistakes made during that first cases, the second one and the third. We have people who saw Viagra become the drug du jour and who saw the eradication and rebirth or tuberculosis in Kuwait.
We need to reshape our education and have graduates who can debate, discuss and be knowledgeable in our field without feeling that reading ethics 1 day a week is a waste of time.
Maybe then we’ll stop hearing about how doctors who “don’t know my name’, “don’t spend enough time with me” or are “too brash” or “shyif nafsa” and maybe then doctors won’t get slapped around so much.
I’ll leave you with the quote that he read to me one afternoon years ago and introduced me to the sense of awe , the need to read on medical finance, history and ethics; humanities presumed dead by our colleagues and up and comers (yes, student ……. you’re not my colleague yet …..). It was by John Cardinal Newman who described a university as a citadel built with the purpose of:
‘raising the intellectual tone of society, at cultivating the public mind, at purifying the national taste, at supplying true principals to popular aspirations, at giving enlargement and sobriety to the ideas of the age, at facilitating the exercise of political powers, and refining the intercourse of private life.’
I only hope that I can one day see this in our local University who’s faculty and students should expect more from each other …….
Seeing Eye Dogs are soooooooo 2k9 ……..
I fucking loved daredevil growing up (I even like the movie …… which isn’t exactly the best Hollywood has to offer), one of the main reasons I like him is ’cause he never relied on anyone when he became blind, no seeing eye dogs, no Bengali guides (don’t lie I’ve seen it at least 6 times at outpatients …….. a blind old man/woman with a Bengali to show him/her the way), all he needed was his kickass Cain that was also his weapon of choice.
But daredevil wasn’t your typical blind person, he had the power to see sound and hear heartbeats and stuff so it’s not exactly fair to compare grandpa or grandma to him and yet I can’t help but feel that the blind among us haven’t exactly benefited from many of the advances in our field, we know how to prevent (well …. slow down) blindness in some cases but have never really found a cure for it ……. the best we could come up with was/is “go buy a dog and let him drag you around …….. oh and make sure you don’t step on his doo doo ……. ” and if you couldn’t afford one or in most cases can’t take care of one then you had to buy a Cain and trip and fall and fall again until you learned how to use it.
But thanks to the boffins in the US army and Brainport inc we finally have a solution …… or at least a better one than “Here’s a stick good luck and don’t poke any one with it”. And no it doesn’t require stem cells, a 16 hour surgery or a hundred billion dollars all you need is a tongue and a pair of glasses……..
It consists of 2 parts glasses and a plastic lolly pop you put under your tongue. The glasses have a camera that will take a picture and transmit it to the lolly pop which in turn transmitts the electrical signals to your tongue. The pattern of the signals tells you that the thing you’re looking at ……. well ….. looks like. It’s not super accurate yet and the current model only has 400 sensors but the “final production” model should have 4,000 sensors.
And if anyone is interested (I’m sure one person reading this must know at least one blind person) the brainport website is this and the cost to buy the device and train someone is around 18,000 pounds …….
It’s been a while
How have all of you been?
No new babies? No recent marraiges?, apologies for snubbing you all, I’ve been a little busy growing older and maybe a little more mature, thankfully the bald spots (yes there’s more than one) havn’t really grown despite my new more mature and (dare I say it) improved self……. Yes, I am a little less lurid, a little more sane and a little less angry,,,,,, don’t ask why ….. it just happens sometimes and is becoming a trend (mark has lost his shwarma fetish and has adopted a healthy life style, why can’t I decided I don’t want to write for free anymore and would rather spend my time sampling a new cereal everyday and filling my days with Bio-shock 2)
This will probably be my last post for a while but it’s only my second post in which I actually talk about my self …… being self centered is great, no wonder most of the Kuwaiti public do it 24/7. It’s therapeutic ’cause you get to complain and think that your opinion counts ……….
Having said that there are a couple of posts I’ve been meaning to write including my penis farts one, the prostate cancer needs no cure one and why it makes no sense that taking out your stomach will cure you of diabetes………..
High in the Sky
Couldn’t find the 2009 one …… apologies …..
No one can deny it, we all did it at some point, we all wanted to go visit aliens some where, or see what the moon was like or walk on saturns rings (which I later found out were actually just tiny meteorites circling the planet ….. not all that solid.
But what is space travel really like? How long does it take? and what does it entail? Well, it takes us about 8 hours to get to the moon, which is not too bad I suppose …… however it takes about 2 years to get to Saturn …… which sucks balls given the fact that Ipod touches only last about 4 hours these days …….and lets not forget all those people who spend their time on the Space Stations, sometimes spending months at a time there …….
Furthermore, like most form of travel it does take it’s toll on a person, most those smiling, bright, and healthy people you see in those pictures will suffer from depression, motion sickness, radiation exposure and depressed immunity, many will also loose alot of their muscle mass and bone mass as well, making their bones as floppy as a toddlers (try and squeeze a babies head …… feels like a bouncy ball !)
The low gravity environment also makes it very hard to keep anything down, many astronauts tend to get very nauseous, head ache prone and dizzy while in space.
So how do space cadets fight off the blues, upchucking and muscle loss? The answer is quite simple …….. drugs …….
Most NASA space travelers take uppers (smart pills that get you high and keep you awake for days at a time, the most used of which is provigil), they also take a combination of a drug called scopolamine and another dexedrine which when combined will turn you into a zombie which can think for it self (the best way to think about it is that they take the scopolamine to subdue their emotions and bowel so that they don’t get nausea or cabin fever and combine it with dexedrine which will boost their productivity and keep them on course (pun intended)).
It’s interesting that Scoplamine was first used in mind control experiments by the CIA in the 1950′s, then by the colombian cartel to turn human trafficking victims into zombies and subsequently by NASA to make ships fly straight and stop pilots from killing each other …………
NASA is also training their latest crop of Buzz Lightyears to restrain and subdue each other then induce comas on each other just in case one of the crew becomes unruly.
They’re also trying to use stem cells to keep peoples bodies growing while in space.
So if you want to become an astronaut you need to:
a) develop a drug habit
b) turn yourself into a zombie for weeks on end
c) Be able to with stand a 6 month flight to mars and back.
d) Have the heart to tie down and drug up other crew members.
e) Live with no TV or good music for a while
f) be content with not having the same mobility you had prior to flight and end up being hobbled the minute you step back on earth.
Fuck it …….. the cool space suite ain’t worth it ……. I’m sticking to weekends in Bahrain …….
Super Secret Hoo Hoo Smelling Samurai death blow
I love sushi, you love sushi, we love sushi. We also love to travel to places like New York, Denver and Houston (well maybe not Denver …… but the rest …….) and once we get there we all tend to go for something exciting, novel and a wee bit different …… namely sushi.
But what do they put in it? It all tastes the same …… a bit smelly while going in but finishes off quiet nicely I think we could all agree ……
Does that yellow tail, nigri rolled, sumomaki ridden tuna actually contain tuna or is it the McDonald’s version of the real thing filled with tons of corn starch and what not……
Although many people would probably try and find out online or by simply asking the chef, very few people could actually come up with a clear cut litmus test to find out where their sushi comes from, you’d think that scientists would have the answer, but the PhD toting crowd are probably far too busy schlepping their secretaries while thinking about their students ………
But thanks to the genius of two girls trying to think of a final year school project we finally have the answer.All they did was order sushi from every where they could, take a sample of the tuna used in making it and send it to the international barcode of life consortium (or IBOL) ( a group of people who will trace any given tissue sample back to it’s species origin and tell what it came from (e.g. saliva that came from a specific dog bite etc) the consortium was originally founded to help track things like the trafficking of endangered species, but their technology can be easily used to trace back any raw meat anywhere in the world ……. kind of like a biological GPS).
It took these two 19 year olds (Kate Stoeckle (left) and Louisa Strauss (Right) to tell all you people that you’ve been eating killer fishies …..
The people at iBol then analysed the alleged Tuna and came up with some rather erm …… interesting findings; for one thing …..almost 30% of the sushi places that were sent off for analysis didn’t use ANY tuna and used everything from makerel, to endangered species (T. maccoyii) (so basically you and your girlfriend or for the more lonely of us, fat ugly porker of a friend were munching on the marine equivalent of a baby seal paw) and even fish that have been banned for being toxic (they were even banned in south american countries where cocaine comes in regular or lemon scented varieties) and potentially fatal.
What’s alarming is that the two girls weren’t allowed to submitted as their end of year school project and were told that it “lacked and form of logic” and did not fulfill the assignment ……. which sound a wee bit like the attitude people havein good old K-town, namely, if it isn’t something I would do or think then you’re wrong ……. now go back to twiddling your thumbs and let me gawk at the hot patients ………
But forTUNAtely (hehe ,,,,,, tuna ….. hehe) people far smarter than their school teachers managed to recognize their talent. The two 19 year old girls were recently accepted at Johns Hopkins and are due to start their legal drinking, pot smoking, jello shot infested college lives very soon.
The motto of the story is that rocket scientists aren’t the be all and end all of discovery and innovation. Most of the people reading this are probably very well educated, highly knowledgeable and have probably made numerous attempts at fixing things where they work …… but the problem lies in trying to recognise talent as opposed to degrees or senriorty because when talent is put in the right place and given the right tools that’s when you get innovation and that’s when you’ll stop hearing about people needing to spend 3 days waiting on a slip of paper from a ministry or crazy doctors who know nothing better than to prescribe adol an a weeks worth of Heroes and How I met Your Mother.
At the same time it’s also very hard for me to imagine any Kuwaiti hospital without at least one or two people who seem to have a slew of degrees and became heads of departments then sat back and let the whole place turn into that scene from Gangs of New York.
….. and here it is to refresh you memories …….
And on the Other side of the Spectrum ……
both in economic and physical terms. Continuing on from the last post and the one before it, today’s post is actually based on some newer and possibly more accurate data on Kuwaiti crash victims (Yes, Rosseneri or Rossenneri or Rossineri …. I mean us ….. no need to fret or throw a fit …..). Kuwaiti drivers are a unique species indeed we drive fast and tend to have a rather unique body habitus in that we’re either stick thin or rather rotund/fat/fit/obese/steroid laden and 300 like.
We as a nation tend to stereo typically drive fast, break fast and turn fast. We also tend to be chubbier than your average person (that not necessarily being a bad thing, alot of people tend to enjoy a bit of meat on their significant other), however it does tend to pose a rather interesting implications on how likely we are to survive in a car accident.
With that in mind I spent the last week looking for good statistics on fat people in fast cars and believe it or not there are actually some doctors who spent time writing papers on the subject and observing injuries on the fat, thin and younge (sadly, none of them were Kuwaiti despite the amount of car accidents we have in the country no one has bothered to do any in depth analysis on the effects of speed, car type, or body build in Kuwait …. so this was/is the next best thing) but fear not both studies concentrate on a similar population.
The frist was conducted in Florida and used data from about 30,000 crashes and divided them up into men and women then fat, thin and average. They also included passengers and divided them in a similar manner and based on their figures if you were a fat or thin man who was driving you were very likely to die in a fast 2 seater even if the air bags were deployed (about 1 in 100 give or take). However your risks of dieing were no where near as bad as women’s (about 40% higher) and were less if you were short fat person or a ten year old weighing about 70 kg in the passenger seat and before you say that these figures are subjective and based on improper data collection, they went on to replicate these results in crash test dummies by strapping weights onto them. What fortunate is that young fat men and young fat women were less likely to die if they wore their seat-belts (they were almost as good as the average 25 year old drunk or under the influence of drugs …… no really ….. read the article …….)
What’s interesting is that the other study conducted purely as a biostatistics study (no influence by trauma surgeons, ER staff or laymen or any companies, completely funded by the public) came up with almost the same conclusion. They found that women (and to a slightly lesser extent, men) required more care, sustained more major injuries and had more injuries that were undetected than the national average.
So surprisingly we are doing something right, wearing seat belts (despite the discomfort, ruffles shirts and 2 seconds delay involved in doing so) is actually probably the only thing that is guaranteed to save you (well not you , cause you’d probably be dead ….. your family and friends ……) alot of grief.
Another interesting thing is that none of the studies try to see how many people in the obese population sustained minor injuries and they only mention that the most deadly combination is a fast car and a thin short person, nor do they factor in driving proficiency when stratifying men and women…… i.e. they don’t blame women drivers …….*
So in conclusion, I’d like to apologise for boring you with this rather mundane three parter on road traffic accidents and how/why we can prevent them (the readership fell quite sharply, so did the hate mail) but it is a subject that is quite near and dear and something I think people might want to read up on, especially people in healthcare; all three who actually read the blog…………
*Yes, eleventh street; it was a cheap jab and meant to be joke…..apologies ……
…. Just go Buy a Car …..
Following on from last weeks post the next think I’d like to talk about a minority we have in Kuwait ….. the pedestrian …… usually of bengali ethnicity, often with a lack of linguistic skills or clothing, lets face it the rest of the damn nation have a fear of using their legs to cross the road and with good reason …… who would want to sweat in the 150kd track suit ……..
Thanks to their inability to wait till the road clears and our inability to account for a fast moving dark figure in front of us at 2 am. Bengali’s and street cleaners account for possible 70% of all pedestrian car injuries and while most of this injuries tend to look minor (either a broken foot or arm and a bleeding cut wound) a fair number will have a secondary injury that we can’t really detect unless we’re more thorough when we examine them. (and by we I mean people in the medical community, usually a trainee or an assistant will be first on the scene, so this post is mainly for the people who read this, this and this as well as the people who write in them.
Pedestrians are funny creatures, specially bengali ones because when they are hit they tend to flail around and smack them selves on the hood and the bumper leading to more injuries. They also tend to have a very low threshold for pain and rarely if ever know how to speak Arabic (and you can forget about English) so nine times out of ten what you get in the casualty is a person who was hit by a bumper, slammed himself onto the windshield, broke the glass against his face and flailed around rubbing the shards of glass in subsequently falling to the ground and possibly being left there for about an hour or two before being brought into hospital and if you’re fortunate enough to have received the patient right after the accident then your are just as likely to receive your fellow country man or woman who has just hit him and will probably complain about how he needs as many x rays, pills and drips as the bengali does and will take up most of your time simply because he or she wont stop shouting at you or the nursing staff.
What’s interesting is that if you go purely by numbers (which is what the european health and safety network did) most of the pimary or secondary injuries you will see will occur either in the head or the legs. and of those most will be occult facial fractures that won’t swell up for a day or two. Very few will have actual brain injuries ’cause you skull can literally take a good kick from a premier legue footballer (about 9 Kilonewtons) and still not crack where as a baseball thrown in the right direction (0.8 Kilo newtons) will burst your cheek bone open and the same goes for your legs you’re more likely to hurt a joint than a bone and are more likely to hurt a nerve than a joint but how many of you woh have been through a car accident have actually been examined for knee joint injury or numbness? Very few doctors do it ……
Another thing that people tend to forget is that a pedestrian is 3 times more likely to hurt is chest than his abdomen and yet if you ask most general surgeons (you won’t see a trauma surgeon ANYWHERE in kuwait, all of them work as general surgeons for lack of a formal department or training) they’d be more concerned if you told them you didn’t order an abdominal ultrasound than if you didn’t order a chest x ray, they’d still want you to order it but will probably rubbish it off.
It’s things like ignoring facial fractures and loose teeth, not looking for joint damage and looking for fractures instead and ignoring rib fractures that lead to the horror stories like the guy who was in a car accident got his ankle fixed and never got his chest checked out. Three months later he was still in pain turns out he had a rib fracture, the reality is that ribs heal themselves for the most part but still ….. I’d like to know if I cracked a few …..
So the take home message here is that pedestrian car crashes which look minor usually are and do not required active resuscitation or ABCDE’s as was mentioned last week. But that doesn’t mean that they should be neglected. Pedestrians differ from major trauma’s in that they are more likely to have joint and tendon damage than to have fractures and are more likely to have facial fractures than skull ones. Another thing to bear in mind is that patients who have been hit by a bumper in their torso and are more likely to have rib fractures than abdominal bleeds, however if they are unstable then chances are your problem is in the abdomen oh and never forget there are 2 different types of injury to look out for, primary (car Vs. Human and secondary Human Vs the thing he fell onto after the car hit him/her)
All this information and more is available here in a report written by Dr Jikuang Yang of Chalmers University, Gotenburg-Sweden.
Boom Boom Pow
This post is based on a white paper I wrote some years back and is an attempt at talking about something a wee bit more serious, far too long and far less entertaining that titties, hoo hoos and mens naughty bits.
Despite public opinion we’re not half bad at managing a good serious car crash with multiple injuries, we’re infact pretty good at it statistically speaking. We tend to do pretty well in those because we apply a basic set of principles to them and tend to analyze them in a systematic fashion starting with the patients throat (airway), breathing and blood flow/loss (circulation) moving on to their neurological status and any evident disabilities and ending with the extremities(arms and legs) and external injuries. The so called ABCDE of trauma.
Our problem lies in minor or moderate traumas; trauma like a boy slamming his head against the front seat, or a fat person who’s seat belt was worn wrong and broke some ribs. If your patients breathing, talking and screaming then chances are that the ABCDE’s go out the window and you end up doing a couple of x-rays, routine bloods and observation, maybe a written police note to prove that it was a car accident and it’s for this reason that horror stories occur and don’t tell me you’ve never sent a patient home until you’ve checked everything because if you do you are either a liar or have not seen a patient in the past 15 years.You never hear stories about the guy who came in unconscious and was treated, you hear them about the guy who came in with a cut in the forehead, had it stitched and went home, to bed and never woke up (yes, I know it’s called a lucid interval)
So ultimately what I’m trying to say is that we can never be too careful when dealing with trauma patients and victims of car crashes. And where does the solution lie? In a zero percent doctrine that would put more strain on the system and end up in people having to get cat scans from head to toe and being subjected to enough radiation to kill spider man? In a centralised trauma center in which no doctor will want to work because they aren’t paid enough? or in hiring in trauma people from abroad who have never seen a car embedded on a lamp post after travelling at 180 Km/h in an effort to catch a glimpse at that sweet young thing with tha purty eyez ……
I sincerely doubt that any of the above will save lives. Having spent an admittedly short amount of time observing how minor traumas are managed and how accidents occur in this country here’s what has come to light:
1) We need to apply some thinking when patients come in through the door. similar to the ABCDE’s mentioned above but with a little more logic added maybe
2)Preventing traumas is cheaper than fixing the corned beef hash that comes in as a result of one.
However, there is a solution to our little problem that seems to be killing and maiming people in this country in a far worse manner than AIDS, cancer or the swineflu and it lies in looking to the past and recognising the work of one of the first real public health promoters in history; Dr William Haddon and medical doctor who was also a road safety engineer and his ingenious haddon matrix in 1970.It’s based on four different factors (the victim, the car, the environment and the social awareness within the area) over three different periods of time (pre-event, while in the crash and just after it) and it doesn’t take a health guru or ballisitcs professor or an expert hailing from Germany to come up with a worth while plan based on it.
The Victims:
Looking at the victim/passenger/patient the first thing that comes to mind is actually making them sit an exam and pass it rather than getting their cousin/uncle/father to help them pass it, most of us tend to need a little help when passing the driving exam in Kuwait and that is not a good thing, another thing is that most of us think that wearing sunglasses at sundown is a requirement when driving, this while increasing your sex appeal also tends to make you blind and make it more likely that you’ll crash. Making people use cumbersome fiddly hands free devices may sound like a good idea but in actual fact it’s probably more distracting than just picking up the phone and saying that you’ll call them later. Other good ideas include a mandatory seat belt and child safe seat in the back (i.e. the minute your kid is born the ministry should make it a requirement that you buy one or better yet receive one from them, it’s relatively cheap and makes sense).
The Cars:
In terms of vehicular factors we’re actually doing pretty well, most modern cars (thanks to our addiction to BMW’s and Mercs and Porsche’s) come fitted with anti-lock brakes, airbags, side airbags, seatbelts and flame retarded petrol tanks and piping as well as over-rev limiting mechanisms and collapsible dashboards; we do however have problems with bad lights, poor passenger numbers (12 people crammed into a toyota-taxi circa 1986) and lack of any regular mandatory inspections or part changes (don’t say you go to every service, most cars aren’t even fitted with the right tires or the right disc brakes for our weather and we bearly change them often enough, most people wait until the car stops or the world ends before they actually try and change anything). It’s funny how many people get stopped for the odd Chelsea sticker or window tint and how few are stopped because their rear lights aren’t working or because they honk the horn so much they end up distracting other drivers.
The Playground:
We also need a way on analysing the events such as CCTV on the highways and ring roads that show us how the crash happened and where the traffic is and perhaps even allow for ambulances to see the crash before it’s called in and while we’re on the subject our roads are just too damn curvy with twists and turns that make you feel like you’re in a ride at Disney world.
And how many of you actually rely on road signs, they are too damn small to read and even when you get close enough to read them they are often confusing (we’ve all missed that wretched turn into avenues as a result of a plaque the size of an A4 piece of paper!), Our roads also need to be designed with reserved ambulance routes, locked if need be …. you can use RFID tags on the damn ambulances to open them so don’t tell me there’s no way it would work! We use fucking magnetic tags to get into parking lots ….. use the same thing to block up a special lane…….
Society Vs. The Speed Junkies:
But by far the biggest and most daunting task ahead of us will be social awareness, not because or restraints such as money or organisation, but because we’re going about it the wrong way. SPEED CAMERAS DONT STOP PEOPLE FROM SPEEDING! Our bright young people love their fast cars and mating rituals and can afford to pay speeding tickets. The best way of preventing speeding is to provide a safe environment for it …… and yes, I mean a race track. Lets face it most people would love the idea of having a track day every week or an event such as Gulfrun or the like every two or three months (if it worked it Bahrain, it’ll work here ……)
Another thing we could do is provide basic life support (CPR, etc) training to laymen and laywomen, making it mandatory for everyone will never work but making it more accessible (i.e. annually at the work place or during their last year of high school….. if they can play Nintendo wii they can call 777 and give CPR) and giving people stickers and certificates that say that they are qualified will definitely get people coming in droves (lets face it people love sticking things on their cars (Fake M’s on their BMW’s and other things) and getting to say that they are qualified in “Basic Crash Management” or something to that affect will definitely seem attractive to at least 4 in every 10 of our lemming like youth.
So there you have it, it might not be the best plan in the world but it certainly beats two faced speed cameras, pictures of dead people and a mandatory FBI-esque earpiece on every driver.
If you actually read through this and enjoyed it please let it be known as I am/was planning a second post on how to systematically treat crash victims with minor/mild injuries.
Flirting ….. the New Six Pack …..
I’m not saying that all women are the same or trying to make it sound like people are superficial, it’s all supposed to be tongue in cheek so enjoy.
Now before all of you go out and cancel your subscriptions to platinum and decide to double that second portion of pancakes at early bird, please bear in mind that the title is almost a complete lie. For the most part (apparently) women tend to be inherently attracted to a more or less mixed bag of people so in a technical sense that six pack is worth it depending on what/who you’re aiming for. However increasingly it has been recognised that an overall muscular build is not as ….. significant (not exactly the term I’m looking for but what the hey) as other things are.
It’s interesting how dynamic our tastes as humans are, they are influenced by everything from music videos to advertising, to the weather even and clothing. And in the case of the fairer sex it also seems to be influenced by that spontaneous bleed they all seem to have once a month or so.
For the most part women tend to go for men who are taller (relative to the general population), with more husky voices, good rhythm (an ability to dance without looking like you ass is one fire or are trying to get pepper spray out of your eyes), and are generally speaking at or above average height. This is thought to be more of a subconscious thing and is largely attributed to genetic selection rather than an actual active preference for a particular type of male.
Interestingly, muscular build and masculine faces (big jaw, a “roman” nose or a widows peak) don’t tend to play that much of a role in our mating process, i.e. being built like Sly in rocky 3 won’t really give you an edge if your bald, short and with a voice that’s akin to the war cry of a pygmy in heat.
Flirting on the other hand does, and unlike that six pack and pecks the size of salad plates at Applebees, flirting doesn’t really require all that much work or the use of cow testosterone and growth hormone, all it requires is well …… being a cheeky bastard and perhaps one or two drinks to bring up the Casanova in you and help you find one good thing in your perspective mate.
Infact flirting in many recent studies has been found to be far more important than all the above put together especially when women are ovulating (half way between that period and the one due in 2 weeks time). Flirting also seems to be dynamic and dependant on how masculine your face looks; in other words the less chiseled that jaw of yours is the more likely your are to score and the more muscular you are the less likely that flirting will actually increase your chances. As with most things human the reason why this seems to be the case is largely still a mystery but it’s thought that at some subconscious level masculinity and muscular build is associated with less commitment and an increased likely hood that the fucker has one two or three people on the side.
Having said that flirting, unlike built bodies, long hair, a husky voice or a 12,000 dollar watch is very hard to quantify and very variable. It’s actually a very complex type of behaviour and can vary from just looking at a person, to the way you talk to the way they talk to other people in the room so it’s very hard to objectively score someone in terms of flirting. The way most studies do it is akin to the selection process for star academy and is probably just as useful.
So the take home message this week is that if you have a six pack good on you, learn how to dance without looking like a pollock and maybe try to come up with something better than “halla wallah” or “i3yoonich naar” and for the humans among us it may be a good idea to try and work on the same ……..
Ink.
Happy Eid …….
oh and Yes, I am a fan …….
You’ve gotta love tattoos whether it’s the “fake” ones that come with bubble gum packs that you lick and stick, hennah tattoos or the more traditional type, tattoos have often been seen as a fashion statement or a form of self expression. Personally I’ve always been a fan of them for various resons, namely the fact that that they just look cool no matter how you slice it.
They’ve actually been around since the 5th centruy BC and were found on human popsicles that date back to that era, and have been used in darker times to identify prisoners of war and by doctors (well …. witch doctors) for everything from fertility to acupuncture) and is still used to mark out areas for radiotherapy and to fashion nipples in breast reconstruction.
By and large tattoos have had a bad name …. for the most part people tend to associate them the unsaviory which is rather unfortunate and pretty darn wrong as a couple of plastic surgeons from poland came to find out in their european study.
Dr Antoszewski and his team conducted a suvey within their community asking why people got tattooed, when they got tattooed and whether they have more than one and the results are quiet interesting. For one thing most men get tattoos rather than piercing first where as (for obvious reasons ….. i.e. their mother wanted cute pictures of them) most women tended toget pierced first and for the most part people tended to get on average 3 tattoos over their life time. Also, most people were motivated by trying to express a certain aspect of their identity rather than pee pressure (a close second) where as most people got pierced ’cause of peer pressure. They also found that whether it was tattoos or pieced hoo hoo’s social background and drug taking/risk taking behaviour were not as closely linked as other surveys had shown, meaning that the image of a coke snorting, herion mainlining, toothless disease vagrant is dieing down in tattoo culture. Granted few rocket scientist get them but since when did rocket scientists have a sense of style or identity; they;re usually the annoying kid in class who kept breaking the curve and had his mother check his homework.
Another survey conducted by a dermatolgist, Dr Armstrong hailing from Texas Tech asked people why they wanted their tattoos off. For the most part people tended to get rid of tattoos because they’ve experienced a major shift in their personality such as finding God, a change of lifestyle or risk of social stigma given their current jobs, they also found that women tended to choose to keep their tattoos for them selves and pick areas that are hidden by clothing while men tended to want to chow them off picking their arms and for arms as the site of choice and that people tended to get rid of their tattoos about 20 years after they get them done.
And yes, unfortunately like most surgical procedures tattoos and piercings tend to harbor a risk of HIV, heptitis C and various other infections of the skin and do require care after the procedure to prevent things like keloids and scarring but I’m quick to point out that those risks are fairly minimal thanks to regulation of the industry in most countires and the introduction or sterile tattoo equipment.
It’s very hard not to think that tattoos are more so associated with our over all need for self expression that we’ve come to enjoy these days, just take a look at ur social networking sites, twitter and blogs, we’ve become people who like to scream it loud and proud and tattoos are just one more medium. Another thing that seems evident from these studies is that alot of people tend to regret tattoos that aren’t associated with personal meanings, in other words you wont regret a tattoo that means something to you (well you’re less likely to hate them in 10 years time)
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