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Schools Out for Summer ……….

Well not quite yet …….

It’s finally exam season, parents looking forward to trips to London, France, Spain and the U.S. and kids faking headaches, stomach aches and ending up with appendectomies they don’t need (hey look on the bright side kids; you’ll get two weeks sick leave as well as nice little scar on the right side of you belly).

So with scoring coffee being such a hassle these days and cocaine being so hard to get here in Kuwait, our future doctors, lawyers, CEOs, rocket scientists (and let’s face it, terrorists) are going to have to look for other drugs to get them through the night. And while I could go on and on about how people should study all year ’round I’m one of those people who disagrees with that idea.I think that you should spend time on subjects that interest you (for me it was OBGYN; but whatever floats yer boat) and I see nothing wrong with trying to cram the rest 12 hours before the exam. (We’ve all done it ye hypocrites….)

The drug that seems to be on everyones lips is Ritalin (some amphetamine). I doubt that half the people (even those on Desperate Housewives) who have touted/talked/bragged about Ritalin have actually used it. Retalin upregulates certain pathways in the brain. It makes certain thought processes more intense, increases concentration and induces systemic responses such as tachycardia but does not increase your IQ or your capacity to function mentally (i.e. it increases your acceleration not the speed) so it makes more sense to use it as a party drug at the shaleh rather than a study aid 2 minutes before your exam, and lets not forget the 36 side effects, adverse effects and reactions (yes I do know them all by heart) Show ▼

But not to worry kids; recent advances have allowed scientists to design a drug that allows you to upregulate most of your neural activity with a significant increase in concentration (in other words they designed anabolic steroids for the brain) and (to a limited extent) IQ. The drug is known as Provigil (Modafinil) and is available in tablet form; it was originally developed to help people with narcolepsy stay awake, was then marketed as an anti-jetlag drug and once they found out it was just as good as cocaine they decided to try it out on dumb people and found out it makes the dumb ones smarter without making the smart ones dumber. The only problem is that no one is quite sure how it works ………

Oh well have a good summer regardless of whether you pass or fail

(and no I don’t know where you can get it in Kuwait)

10 Comments

  • May 25th 200818:05
    by greyshorts

    bummer i was just gonna ask ..

    [Reply]

  • May 25th 200818:05
    by chika

    I use Novagline to sleep !

    [Reply]

  • May 25th 200820:05
    by Ansam

    narcolepsy reminded me of a friend in college… we were on a road trip from Colorado to California and alternating behind the wheel when she told me her doctor said she could be narcoleptic! That kept me WIDE AWAKE for the whole trip!!!

    [Reply]

  • May 25th 200821:05
    by Delicately Realitsic

    So…have u tried it?

    [Reply]

  • May 26th 200814:05
    by Ruri

    well, back 2 amphetimines then ? =P

    either that or im gonna OD on B-complex vitamins ((im trying to combat stress, so far stress is winning .. ))

    [Reply]

  • May 26th 200816:05
    by KTDP

    Replies:

    Chika: I think noveglin is an anti inflammatory and dulls pain rather than making you sleep. But hey whatever works at the middle of the night.

    Delicately Realistic: I haven’t tried provigil yet. It’s more-so ’cause I couldn’t get my hands on it than anything else. If you can score some I’d be more than happy to try and write a review about it later.

    Ansam: That would be scary, but narcoleptics tend to get an aura so you would know a couple of minutes before you’d hit a deer/your car rolls over the edge/ you get hit by a truck ….

    Ruri: B-complex does nothing to take the edge off the stress. (but let me know if you manage to OD on them. I’d like to know the symptoms/signs etc)

    [Reply]

  • May 26th 200818:05
    by Ruri

    I couldnt find any physical evidence that they do either bs i was hoping theyl psychologically unstress me (thanks for ruing that =P)

    w I think im gonna OD on stress first, u want my atypical signs/symptoms ? Orthastatic hypotension is 1 of them =D

    [Reply]

  • May 28th 200808:05
    by Ansam

    I drink chamomile tea & it wont relax me or make me sleepy! Same with caffeine.. it doesn’t affect me in anyway. I can have coffee/tea/coke…etc, and sleep after five minutes! LOL

    I think my body has a mind of its own and wont let any of that affect it if its set on doing what it wants!

    You think that will also happen when I go into the O.R. and under the knife and anesthesia wont work on me? EEEEK!!!

    [Reply]

  • May 28th 200816:05
    by c&n

    I like the way your targeting the kids and not the parents. I just hope you get something out of this free promotion you doing for these products…

    [Reply]

  • [...] we have an industry based on performancing enhancing drugs such as steriods, hormones and “smart pills” so I don’t see how a “Ghandi pill” can be a bad thing for anyone [...]

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