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Drunk on Life…… [longest post on the planet]

I love it when people set their sites on the unreachable and unfathomable; and that’s exactly what Dr. Aubrey de Gray a gentleman scientist (an old, debunked term for self-funded scientist) is doing. An engineer by trade, de Gray has spent the last 6 or so years of his life trying to make us immortal and has published a rather impressive set of articles/books on the various solutions he proposes.

He has also established the Methuslah Foundation which has raised a 3 million dollar prize for anybody who can extend the life of mice. De Gray, an engineer by trade has based his theories on a very simple notion, if you can control cellular DNA and RNA (think of it as the bodies HTML and Javascript) and keep them mutation free then you can live forever* (or until you get a blood clot somewhere).

I’ve also always had a rather myopic (= immature) view of life, life seems to be nothing more than a journey in which you get faced with problem after problem and challenge after challenge until one of them kills you or or an organ gives out from the wear and tear of it all.

Your life expectancy (how long you’ll live) is largely dictated by a combination of how much you are willing to put up with, dumb luck and whether you get admitted to a kuwaiti hospital or not (don’t get me wrong a healthy diet, not smoking, drinking in moderation etc does help; it just doesn’t help alot unless the thing you are doing or not does reduces cellular wear and tear)

You see a toddler starts life in a pretty healthy state but s/he has to put up with parents who fill her/his stomach with stale, bacteria laden milk making her/him feel queasy; they then shake him until he throws up and chokes on his own vomit.

Provided you survive the first 4 years of your life and numerous episodes of choking and near drowning on said milk you are then faced with another (more daunting) set of problems ….. walking across a jungle of crap that you’ve never seen before and is usually twice your size and will end up scaring you into falling and sustaining a number of stitches, juvinile fractures and burns.

If you do reach your preteen years unscathed, you’d then have to face a myriad of psychological attacks including bullying, scolding and generally fucking up.

Your teens will then be met with a whole load of teenage angst and a somewhat awkward montage of aching moments involving the opposite sex (or in some cases same sex). Provided you live into your late teens and twenties you should have already went through and probably survived a whole load of expermentation with various drugs and of course alcohol and sex (unless you are in this country in which case you’d spend your teens and twenties trying to kill your self and others with your car but not to worry you’ll still be a virgin, be sober and pure).

You’ll then begin to “build your life” namely:

• Marry someone you think you may or may not love but seems okay and may make a good mother/father.
• Have kids which you’ll never have enough time to bring up thanks to your and your other halfs’ job and social engagements.
• Get into mounds and mounds of debt trying to sustain a quality of life you cannot afford with an ever rising inflation rate.

This “life building” exercise lasts about thirty years, the stress and frustration brought on by a lack of emotional development within the family unit and the debt is what eventually kills you.

Despite all of this turmoil, destruction and bedlam life seems to have a pretty good fanbase and as a result immortality is largely seen as one of those unreachable goals that scientists should aim for. Should you have any questions regarding Dr. de Grays rather interesting body of work feel free to ask him yourself …..

* I know I’ve over simplified things; I’m not a biochemist or gerontologist by trade and therefor lack the ability to appreciate the more minute aspects of his thesis.

 This post is far too long and I wouldn’t be offended if none of you read through the whole thing.

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