kill.thatdamnpatient.com

Tee Hee – Keep Running you Dumb Dumb Sheep

I’ve finally given up …… sod it ….. I spent the summer trying to give my self buns of steel and pecks that scream ‘SPARTAAAAAAAAAN!’ and I’ve spent Ramadan running on a goddamn treadmill or cycling in one place like a fucking idiot and what do I have to show for it …… fuck all …… Not only has my largess not changed but I’ve managed to make myself even more revolting to the opposite sex the sweat marks that grow as you walk/jog/have a heart attack along the local walkway/mamsha/

And after all my hard work and the hard work of countless 13-60 somethings running around at the local walkways (mamsha) science has only just found out that exercise doesn’t really do anything for you whieght. A recent study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine revealed that if you take 50-odd people of varying age who are over weight (BMI of 30 ish) and put them on a strict (witnessed by study organisers) aerobic/cardio exercise plan for 12 weeks, you’ll be lucky if they don’t gain 3 KG, in-fact the only weight loss that was noted came from about 5 people who lost between 2 and 3.5 KG then gained it back the week that they stopped. This means that our worst nightmares have come true …… we could have been watching family guy enjoying machboos diyay and instead have been running around like headless chickens……. damn you science …… damn you to hell ……

Having said that the study does advocate exercise for the overall health benefits and there have been other studies that say that although you won’t loose any weight when you exercise; you may find it easier to keep the whieght off if you do. So the trick is to starve your self, while watching family guy, loose the weight, then go buy yourself a treadmill and never use it.

Then there’s the other rocket scientists trying to figure out why we never loose weight no matter how far we run, or how fast we go. Apparently, it has alot to do with your energy balance (and I don’t mean karmically, although having said that, Karma may explain why my love handles have grown a second set of love handles …….) meaning the amount and type of food you eat BEFORE you use the treadmill for the first time and end up falling flat on your face snapping you nose runnig to the poly clinic (this is where the exercise come in), Where the doctor will refer you to the local casualty, who will do an X-ray and won’t know how to read it and refer you on to an ENT doctor at Al Sabah Hospital who will tell you to comeback and see him at his private clinic when the swelling goes down ……

Having said that ,there is a rather robust study that seems to support the fat burning role of exercise, the man even devised formulas to calculate how much you’re expected to loose ….. so perhaps there is some hope for the running, walking and cycling masses …… ‘course the only problem is that he only did it on healthy runners who’s metabolism is geared towards fat burning …… fucking pullock …….

Bookmark to