Posts Tagged → alcholism
One More Reason to Chug a Bottle of Cough Syrup …..
This post is far too short …. apologies …. ti’s a replacement for a really long Xmas post that was just too filthy …. even for by own lowly standards ….
Cough syrup actually taught me how to drink ….. as a young sickly lad you’d take a gulp of something that feels like it’s burning your tongue then you feel slightly better 20 minutes later …. if that isn’t a prelim to get you hooked on drinking I don’t know what is…. damn drug companies were prolly in cahoots with pub owners back then ……
But besides that cough syrup is good for other things, like getting off crystal meth (thanks, to the codeine* most brands contain …….. except those in Kuwait….. it’s banned here…. well not banned but not publicly available either …..) and getting high (you’d have to chug the whole bottle but it works ……. or so I hear ……. pretty good buzz too) and recently we’ve found out that the stuff is also good for curing cancer ….. well at least a couple of them …….
Dr Isreal Barken’s been using Noscapine (a regular component of most brands of cough syrup) to treat a number of types of cancer including prostate, lung and probably any other type of cancer in which a constant blood supply is required (most fortunately do); unfortunately (not unlike the Ministry of Health here in Kuwait) nobody really knows how Noscapine makes the tumours smaller. Still it does provide hope for the future and lets face it most of us didn’t know that the codeine is cough syrup was getting us high when we first took it at the tender age of four ……
* Codeine is a very mild sedative ….. it’s the stuff in NightNurse in small doses and a couple of shots of vodka in higher ones. Too bad it’s more addictive than heroin)
Addictions, delusions and nervous ticks …..
I was going to try and get everyone involved in an experiment …. however her face was just too good to miss…...
I’ve always thought that the term “addiction” should be defunct. It’s just too broad a term. It’s one of those words like “bad”, “tired” and “fucked” that may have more than one meaning and just ends up being used to describe anything from a craving, to a need, to a nervous tick and even be part of an ad campaign. Words like that should be banned ….. it’ll help people learn new ones.
The history of the the term addiction is actually very interesting, it was first described by William Shakespeare e in 1599 in Henry V in relations to opium and has since grown to encompass many other habits and obsessions, some of them behavioral (we all know that guy in class who can’t stop washing his hands ….. fucking creepy) , some of them psychological (buying makes us feel good, that chocolate cake makes us feel even better and don’t even get me started on weed) and some of them simply occur because your body needs that chemical to function (e.g. nicotine, heroin and pethidine).*
For the most part we are all addicted (or more aptly fixated) upon certain things around us, for some it’s that cup of coffee, for others it’s that cigarette at the time of need and for many (far more than you can imagine) it’s that shot of vodka before bedtime.* and then there are the vain attention seeking types, these are the people who tend to get new haircuts regularly, change their “look” 10 times a season and can’t help but carry around that handbag that looks like a Hummer H2 with suspenders strapped on to either side (the fucking thing looks like you could bludgeon someone to death with it …..)
And despite what most people think, the vast majority of addictions, fixations and nervous ticks are harmless and the fact of the matter is that very few of us will end up going into rehab for over showering, over cleaning or drinking too much coffee,alcohol or diet coke (some of us may even boast about it) but some, very few end up harming themselves………
Obvious examples of fatal addiction include heroin addicts, those of us who’ve done more than their fare share of cocaine and ofcourse surgery addicts such as the young Korean lady recently doing the rounds on all the tabloids …..
Hang Mioku now 48 began undergoing plastic surgery at the age of 24, she started off going to local plastic surgeons in Korea who would inject her cheeks with collagen (the botox of the 80′s), since then she’s had over 106 different procedures done ……. now if you think about it that’s a little too much to swallow …. for one thing I don’t think you could do 100 procedures back to back on a human face (well you could but you’d have to for-go the 6 month waiting time for all the tissue swelling to go down) for another no human could afford to pay for 100 procedures back to back (well you could …. if you were Cher, Micheal Jackson or Demi Moore).
But good old Hang found a way of pulling it off with minimal overhead by cutting out the middle man after the first couple of surgeries and using cheaper …. erm …. biodegradable collagen/silicon/botox alternatives.
She decided to inject herself with cooking oil ….. it’s a wonder how she managed to pull it off without paralysing her face ,developing infection or developing gangrene ….. if the women went to medical school she would have been the best plastic surgeon ever !
But is her addiction legitimate? or is it just a habit gone wild? Based on most of the stuff I read about the woman and others addicted to surgery seems to be more of an obsessive habit rather than a full on addiction ….. oh well maybe I should have showed up for psychiatry in medschool ….. damn class was boring though ….. they should have used power point instead of those fucking transparencies …….
* Yes I am well aware of the the repetitve use of “for some”, “for others”, “for others” format …. my linguistic skills have been taking a nose dive lately….. apologies …..
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